Haitus Kaiyote

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Single, loud, AMAZING, and independent: blah, blah, blah

For the record, I am single. #LOL Happily single at this point thanks to the mundane-ass dudes who continue to come at me and who make the concept so much easier to welcome. #thanks! I am at a point in my life where I truly value everything that I represent and all that I stand for. I know who I am without any hesitation and I’m loving it!

With that said, I've found myself in a number of conversations lately that leave me throwing my hands in the air and huffing, and puffing, and chanting like I’m Jane Austen. #loveher Not to take away from the substance that almost always comes about from conversations with my girls, but I’m noticing the idea of being confident and happy with oneself is the minority.

I am not sure how I ended up so confident and so sure of who I am, but the past few months have made me extremely appreciative of the fact that I can be labeled such. Coincidentally, in some weird sort of ironic twist, the past few weeks have also (unexpectedly) thrown my independence in my face. It has been my experience that I go after what I want. I don’t really need (potential) guys to approach me with boring, regular, disengaging conversation. I have ALWAYS been the assertive type and I haven’t really had any problems with that approach. However, thinking about it now, I am not sure I want to put in the time anymore.  I’m relatively social (that’s kind of an understatement) and I have to be the first to admit that my single, loud, AMAZING and independent personality make it fairly easy to maintain an active lifestyle. Still, the idea of the chase has become so easy for me I feel my interest waning. I have become fully aware that my belief that guys are disposable probably won’t result in a ring on my finger, but who wants a ring from someone you are just “content” with? I sure as hell don’t, but the common answer, I’m finding, is quite disturbing. While I go out (frequently) to dance and drink and converse with strangers in the hopes of learning something new, my cohorts are out hunting. Searching for something that doesn't really exist. These fictitious men that have been created and brought to life through a camera lens (thank you Ryan Gosling) exist, live and breathe in the imaginations of women everywhere.

Men love the idea of intrigue and mystery. They are motivated by challenge and the possibility of rejection, but what makes people think women don’t want the same? Admittedly, those who convince themselves that they do, run with their tales tucked between their legs to the nearest forest--filled with fairies and vampires and fiction-ass men--once rejection shows an inkling of its face. Women have become fearful of the idea of waiting out pursuit so hot and heavy it could be deemed unreal. #YEEESSSSS   

My fascination with the root of confidence in different people is slowly becoming a point of focus. What exactly is the determining factor? And does that variation cross gender lines? While my supposed “extreme” level of confidence has been the topic of discussion with my friends, I tend to lean toward the “why the eff aren't you thinking the same way that I am”? I truly don’t find my train of thought to be anything other than that which should be considered normal. Nevertheless, I’m pretty sure I feel a field study coming on!

Stay tuned. #genuinelyintrigued.

xx

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